Pachinko
by Monsters
Summary: [RS] Sora has split personality disorder. Riku is his psychiatrist who's beginning to question the reality of things once Sora claims that Riku's his other personality..
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**1**

ChApTeR: oNe

**1**

"Oh.. I see you're up now. Good morning."

Blue eyes slowly peeled open and glanced around the hospital room with a sense of confusion. Only one blue eye could be seen because of massive amount of bandage on the other side of that delicate face. He moaned in pain, trying to ask what happened and not being able to form the words.

"You really shouldn't try and speak at the moment, Sora.. You were hit by a car just outside of the arcade around a week ago or so."

He tried to look towards the feminine voice that had spoken to him, but was finding it quite hard to move. He moaned in pain again, now trying to get comfortable.

"I'm Kairi, your doctor. You're going to make a full recovery, but you will be sore for the next few er.. Weeks. You're going to be just fine though.." she walked into his vision so he could see her.

Sora looked at her through his one blue eye. She was pretty.. Nice hair, pretty lavender eyes.. Yes, she was cute. Nice smile too..

"Wha.." the brunette closed his eyes, everything he said sounded like just a bunch of mumbles. And he noticed that Kairi leaned down closer to him, to hear him even though he shouldn't have been speaking. "Happen."

Kairi leaned back up, a pleasant smile on her face that Sora could not see, "well.." she paused, "after you get better.. We're going to send you to one of our psychiatrist here. He's a very nice man.."

The one eye he could see out of went wide and he wanted to scramble. He wanted to stand up and walk away, he waned to leave. "Why?" he questioned in a slurred way.

"What happened was.. Well.. You weren't just walking out of the arcade, Sora. When the driver hit you, she said you were talking to yourself. She said you just ran out in front of her car and she said even after she hit you, you kept talking and screaming." she sighed, "by the time we got there, it was like you were switching people.. The real you who was trying to figure out what was going on.. And the other you who was laughing at your pain. Laughing at your suffering.. I just want Riku to check you out. Don't worry, you're not crazy or anything."

There was a moment of silence in which Sora was breathing heavily, trying to let his rational mind make sense out of this all. But how could he get his rational mind to make sense out of everything when it had been so... Contorted by someone inside him..?

* * *

It had been a few months and, just like Kairi had said, he made a full recovery. Going to some psychiatrist had completely left his mind by now, and he was just worried about paying the hospital bill and going home. Home sounded quite nice.

Sora only had one thing to remind him of the car accident, and that was just a scar on his left arm. It was nothing big, it looked like a cut that wouldn't heal more than anything though.

"Kairi.."

"Hm?" the doctor was eating lunch with Sora in the cafeteria, it was becoming a daily ritual.

He bit down on his lower lip, not wanting to bring the subject up of the psychiatrist. If they had forgotten, it was there problem, not his. So why should he have to remind them at all?

"What is it, Sora? Do you feel ok?" she put down her fork and placed her hand on top of his. "Just tell me what's bothering you."

Sora glanced at their hands and moved his away, causing Kairi to blush and frown a bit. "The psychiatrist.. I don't need to go. I'm fine."

Kairi's frown increased, "you don't remember anything.. Do you?"

He turned to her, his eyes big as if he had been caught red handed with some crime. "What..? Remember what?" his arms were crossed over his chest, his lips slightly parted, his eyes wide.

"All those months you've been here.. Sora, we kept having to give you medicine, things to get you to calm down or put you to sleep." she paused and sighed deeply, "you talk to yourself.. But in two different voices. Your own voice and then someone else's." she didn't want to say he had split personality disorder, "I walked in their once and you kept asking me what was going on, but it wasn't your voice.. I don't know who it was.."

"Someone else.. Inside me.." he looked away from Kairi and at the floor as if it had suddenly become very interesting to him. "When do I... meet him?"

The doctor looked at her watch and squeaked, "right now!" she jumped up from the table and walked over to Sora, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the cafeteria.

Dragging him down the hallways and up a flight of stairs and then back down another hallway and up another flight of stairs. Honestly, it was like getting free exercise.. But Sora didn't like that, he was still in a bit of pain from the accident.

"Here." she stopped abruptly at a door, causing Sora to practically crash into her.

Clearing her throat, Kairi balled her fist and gave three knocks on the door. She swallowed hard as if some kind of dragon were going to come out of the door and eat her.. Maybe the psychiatrist was scary, Sora didn't know.

Kairi was about to knock again when both heard a very small 'come in'.

Or maybe the psychiatrist was really incredibly old. Sora, despite his unwillingness of wanting to go, was anxious to find out who this guy was. He was always like that when meeting new people.

"Sir..?" the doctor pushed open the door and stepped in, pulling Sora in firmly. Somehow, her hand had slipped down from Sora's wrist to his hand.. And the brunette didn't like that change at all.

"Ah, Kairi. Yes. Did you bring Sora?" whoever this guy was, he was turned around in his chair, the back facing the two.

"Yes Riku, he's right here."

Sora blushed a shade of red, he felt like an animal getting ready to be slaughtered. He wouldn't have been surprised if the psychiatrist suddenly asked 'how much does he weight?' or something along those lines.

"Good, good.." and the psychiatrist stood up from his chair and came around from behind the desk and faced them. He smiled pleasantly at the horror stricken Sora and at the confused Kairi who was staring at Sora.

"You.." the brunette dropped Kairi's hand and stepped back, staring at Riku with wide eyes. "You and.. I.." his first instinct was to run.. But he didn't.

Instead, he did something much worse, he screamed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** It's kind of confusing at the end there. Why Sora can't talk all of a sudden and then screams.. Er, you're smart, you'll figure it out.. And if you don't, you'll find out in the next chapter. Anyway, I wanted to do something more than just.. Sora loves Riku, can't tell Riku, Riku tells Sora, lots of conflict, some romance, a splash or blue paint, and END. I wanted to make Sora actually have a disorder and Riku to actually have a job. Ok, so, if you want an update, REVIEW. 

_-Monsters-_


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**2**

ChApTeR: tWo

**2**

"Here are the letters you requested, doctor. Mr. Strife brought them in from Sora's bedroom." Kairi said as she handed a worn and old shoe box to Riku.

"Thank you, Kairi. And, do you know how Mr. Strife is related to Sora? Or if there's any relation at all?" he took the box and put it under his arm as he leaned against the front desk at the hospital.

Sora had been thrashing about, screaming and crying and trying to say things that didn't make sense. And Riku, trying to be patient because he didn't like the idea of injecting things into patients, tried to calm Sora.. And when that didn't work, he had had no choice.

So now the brunette lay in a hospital room, unconscious for the time being. It had only been an hour or so ago since it had happened, but that stuff wouldn't wear off until later. Riku knew.

"Mr. Strife? Oh, his full name is Cloud Strife, he's Sora's half brother." Kairi paused, "Mr. Strife claimed that Sora had been living on his own until he came down with Split Personality Disorder. At the time, Mr. Strife took his brother back home to take care of him where he then claims that Sora had started writing letters to himself and leaving messages on the phone to himself and e-mailing himself.. He said it was strange because the letters were written by one person, but seemed like two people."

"Usually Split Personality Disorder does seem that way. Do you know if Mr. Strife has any of the messages saved on a tape or anything? I'd like to listen to them.. The e-mails won't be necessary as I already have the letters." Riku let out a light sigh.

"I'll check, doctor." with that said, Kairi turned away from Riku and stalked off back to the waiting room. It was strange to her, if they knew what Sora had, why should he even be in the hospital?

And the answer was easy enough if you looked hard enough.

Riku walked in the other direction, opposite from Kairi. In the meantime, while she gathered the tapes (if there were any), he would look over some of these letters.

Often, he let his patients write in journals to keep track of things. If you had Split Personality Disorder, he often found that the person "slept" a lot and didn't remember things. Like they would kill their cat or set fire to their house and have no idea how it happened because they were "sleeping". But Sora, he seemed different for some reason.. He knew what he had, but it was like he was trying to.. Deny it or something.

Keeping the box tucked carefully under his arm, he walked up the two flights of stairs and down the hallways. The hospital was big and he often found himself getting lost in dark hallways that hadn't been used in years..

Riku stepped into his office and set the box of letters down on his desk. He stalked over to the window and opened the blinds so it wasn't so dingy.. What a funny name for something that allowed light, blinds. Then again, how not so funny, it shut the light out creating darkness.

Sighing, he let his thoughts drift around in his mind as he sat at his desk and looked at the box. It was like an invasion of privacy.. Then again, how private could these letters be? Sora wrote them from himself to himself, even if one of those "hims" wasn't him at all.

Pulling the box closer and removing the lid, he was surprised to see how many letters there were inside. Some letters in blue envelopes and some letters in aqua envelopes. How strange, all of the letters were only these two colors though.

Riku pulled out an aqua envelope, the envelope looked suspiciously like the color of his own two eyes.

The doctor pulled the letter out of the envelope and unfolded it before holding it up in front of his face and just reading the words. The letter was from Sora's other personality.. To Sora..

And as the doctor read on, his mouth dropped in horror. It wasn't really the letter.. It was his name at the end of the letter that got him. His name..

_Sora.._

_You and I aren't meant to be together, Sora. You're holding me back, I'm trying to live life to the fullest.. One of us has to go Sora, and it should be you.. You're the fAkE one. You're the one who isn't rEaL.. You're my other personality.. Don't you hear me! I wanna be fReE! I want to be able to do whatever I want! You're always holding me back! And why do you keep hiding my stuff! Stop putting my things away in the attic! I hAtE you, Sora! I hAtE you! I'll never fOrGiVe you! I'll never fOrGiVe you for inhabiting MY body and trying to shove me out! I want to be fReE! FrEe!_

_Riku_

The doctor sat there as the letter fell out of his hands and onto his desk. Maybe it was just some sort of coincidence that his other personality's name was Riku.. Yes. Coincidence.

He breathed a sigh. It wasn't like Sora's other personality even looked like Riku! Or, maybe he did.. It was confusing. Everything was..

Closing his eyes, he leaned back into his chair letting his thoughts pound on his brain. Why was Sora screaming then? Why wouldn't he calm down when he saw Riku? It was obvious, wasn't it?

But how could.. Something unreal.. Be something.. In real life..?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yes. Riku has just discovered.. Um.. That weird thing. I don't know really how to put it, sorry for the shortness of the chapter.. Meh.. Um anyway, so Cloud and Sora are half brothers and stuff.. Oh, and to BLACKSHEEEP, I don't know how old Riku is. Um.. I gotta think about it. Age isn't really a factor in this story.. Ok, so, if you want an update, REVIEW. 

_-Mon_**sters**-


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!_**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

**Congratulations to Sky-Pirate-Tat. The story was inspired by Paranoia Agent, you're the first to actually say it. Your prize? Well, I'll be watching you..**

* * *

_Pa_chin**ko**

**3**

ChApTeR: tHrEe

**3**

And the bubble popped.

Sora giggled with girlish delight, clapping his hands and sticking his tongue out goofily. This little action caused the older child to smile and blow another bubble with the pink bubble gum he was chewing.

Sora bit down on his lower lip, giggling and bouncing up and down. He reached his finger out and the bubble popped once again, going all over the blond's nose and mouth and chin.

"Cloud.." the brunette started, "how come the bubble pops when I touch it?"

Cloud smiled at his younger half sibling, "you're six, aren't you? Shouldn't you know? You go to school.. You should know.."

He pouted, "they don't teach me nothin'. See! That's why I can't speak good."

Cloud rolled his blue eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He chewed the gum for another moment before sighing deeply, "the bubble only has air inside of it and the air is kind of like.. Holding the bubble, keeping it "alive". So when you poke it, it creates a hole, the only passageway for all the air.. So, with that hole, all the air comes out of the bubble and the bubble deflates."

Sora looked down at his feet, "Cloud.." he started again, "how come momma says we're only half brothers? And how come you don't got a momma?"

Cloud swallowed his gum and glared at the front lawn. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable next to Sora and on the front porch and he suddenly could hear the screaming going on inside.. It bothered him because it never seemed to bother Sora..

"I have a mother.." Cloud glared very hard, "you're the one that doesn't have a mother.."

That.. It was supposed to be a secret..

Riku yawned tiredly as he walked around his house. It was five thirty in the morning and he had gotten up an hour early. He didn't have to get to work until nine today and he woke up super early.. Things always seemed to be that way.

Mornings were his worst times and he hated that someone might see him when he went out for the morning paper. Here he was in his green and blue striped robe with his blue fuzzy slippers and plaid pajamas. The robe was understandable, he wore a jacket like that all day, of course, the jacket was white.

Yawning once again, the man stalked over to the coffee pot and switched it on. Black coffee with absolutely nothing in it was perfect for him. It was relaxing, calming.. Drinking coffee was more of a treat than a chore.

That's when Riku noticed it. The red light on his answering machine blinking. Probably Kairi had left him a message, asking him if he wanted to go on a date. It was funny, she didn't seem to get that he was gay.. Riku thought it was quite obvious, but maybe not..

Walking over to the machine, he clicked one of the buttons. He liked the voice on his machine.. The one that told him he had three hundred and fifty nine messages.

Three hundred and fifty nine messages?

His aqua eyes widened and he stared down hard at the answering machine. Three hundred and fifty nine messages! How bad did Kairi want that date!

And things just got weirder as he listened to the first message..

_Hi Riku.. This is Sora! Um.. Yea. So.. Like.. Um.._

And the message ended.

It was strange.. Because it wasn't Sora's voice.. Perhaps when the brunette had been much younger.. But not now. The voice that had been on the machine was high and girlish sounding.. Boyish sounding.. How did Sora even get Riku's number..?

_Hi Riku.. It's me again, Sora. I really like bubbles.._

And the message ended.

_Riku.. Why don't you answer your phone? Huh? How come? Riku.. _

And the next message sounded hysterical.. Panic.

_Riku! Answer your phone.. Please. Why won't you talk to me! Riku.. God, what did I do? Are you ok? Please.. Answer me.._

And the next message sounded bitter.. Angry.

_Answer your goddamn phone Riku. I know you're fucking there. Stop trying to fucking ignore me, you asshole. I know you're there. I know it. _

And then back to... normal.

_Hi Riku! It's Sora. How are you? Listen, call me back when you get a chance!_

Riku stopped the answering machine. Already, he was breathing hard and was becoming quite jumpy. Sora barely knew him.. And he was calling. Calling as if they were dating and had broken up. Or like Riku was ignoring him..

It was strange.. They went from boyish, to scared, to mean.. Maybe.. Maybe he was being stalked.. And maybe Sora's other personality had everything to do with it..

* * *

**Author's Note:** Crazy psycho Sora. Yea. He's leaving messages on Riku's phone! I suggest calling Riku back.. Message five sounded pretty angry. Anyway, R&R. 

_-Mon_**sters**-


	4. Chapter Four

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!_**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

_Pa_chin**ko**

**4**

ChApTeR: fOuR

**4**

The guitar music flowed throughout the house as Cloud gently strummed the chords. At the moment, the blond was playing just a small tune he had made up.. He couldn't help but smile as Sora danced slightly to the music.

"Cloud.."

"Yea?" the blond stopped playing the electric guitar, which made Sora immediately stop dancing. "What's up?"

Both males were in their room. Their father was at work, and their mother was in her room or doing housework. Neither knew and neither really cared.. Or at least Cloud had stopped caring. He had stopped caring awhile ago.

"What's a kiss supposed to be like?" the brunette bounced over to his older half sibling and sat down next to him on the bed.

"You're twelve, Sora.. You should know these things.." Cloud sighed, and put down the guitar. "A kiss.." despite his words, he would explain, "is supposed to be soft and gentle."

"Show me.." Sora leaned close to the blond, staring at him with sweet innocence.

Cloud thought it over for a moment. They were half brothers, not even full brothers.. So a simple little kiss would be fine, right? It was just going to be a soft, simple peck.. Not filled with tongue or anything..

Shrugging his shoulders, the blond leaned over, planting a simple kiss on Sora's pink lips. This simple act caused the younger of the two to giggle and then pout.

"What?" Cloud questioned, noticing the pout on his brother's face.

"That's not how mommy and daddy kiss.."

"And how would you know?" Cloud wrapped an arm around Sora, pulling the younger boy closer to his body.

Sora snuggled close to Cloud, "mommy told me and daddy showed me.."

Cloud's eyes widened very slightly and he looked at Sora. It was obvious. Sora didn't understand much about kissing or sex, he didn't even seem to understand it was wrong if your dad kissed you on the mouth (in an unfatherly way) or if your brother made out with you..

"How.." Cloud had to admit it though.. He wanted Sora to kiss him, "how did they kiss?"

"Forcefully.." Sora answered.

The blond blushed a deep shade of red, "show me.."

The brunette felt his cheeks heat up at his half brother's words. Swallowing hard, Sora climbed onto the older boy's lap and placed his small, pale hands upon Cloud's blushing cheeks.

"It was like.." and the younger boy crushed his lips to Cloud's in a very forceful and hard kiss, causing the blond to gasp slightly. It was.. Unlike Sora.. Unlike him to be forceful and slightly rough.

As Cloud gasped slightly, the brunette used this opportunity to stick his tongue in the other's mouth. It was hard and forceful too, but this time it made the older boy moan.

Sora pulled back after he just gently touched Cloud's tongue, it felt rather.. Odd to him. He was twelve, and when his father had done it, Sora had tried to pull back.. He didn't like the feeling of having someone's tongue touch his.

"Like that.." the brunette swallowed hard again as he leaned in for another kiss..

* * *

"So it was incest.." Dr. Gainsborough questioned as she looked at Cloud with questioning eyes.

Dr. Gainsborough was Cloud's psychiatrist. Kairi had suggested it, she had said when a loved one goes through tough things, a family member might become depressed.. She also said it'd be easier to express emotion if he talked everything out.. Everything about his childhood.

"No.." Cloud shook his head a bit, "well, yes.. Kind of. We lived in a screwed up household. Sora had no friends.. So I didn't feel I could have friends either.. And we stayed with each other most of time.. And.."

"Your mother.. What was she like?"

Cloud opened his mouth to speak.. "Sora's mother... was my father.."

* * *

"He left three hundred and fifty-nine messages! I want to know how he got my number, where he had access to a phone, and I want to see him right now!" Riku cursed under his breath as he stalked off down the hallway, leaving Kairi behind.

The girl had no idea.. Sora had never left his room. She had been watching him all night.. How he had gotten to the phone.. She didn't know, and she didn't want to tell Riku.

The silver haired doctor trekked quickly down the hall to Sora's room. He was quite upset.. Not about the messages.. But the fact that he felt like he was being stalked by someone who didn't even really exist. Who was fake in Sora's disorder? Sora or Riku?

Riku stopped in front of Sora's door, taking a few deep breaths. He found that going into a room and just yelling whatever was on his mind often scared the patient..

"Riku drew you a picture, Riku."

"Huh?" the doctor walked into the room, jumping slightly to find Sora right at the door. "How did you know..?"

"Riku.. Riku drew you a picture, Riku."

"..." the doctor looked at Sora, feeling a light blush creep onto his face. The brunette was a cute kid, innocent blue eyes, cute giggle.. Split Personality Disorder was screwing him up though.. The boy looked drained of energy. Deprived.

"See?" Sora held the picture in front of Riku. "Riku drew a picture for you, Riku."

Silence.

"Don't you like it, Riku?"

More silence.

"Riku.."

"..Riku drew a picture for me?" the doctor swallowed very hard, trying to get past the lump in his throat. The picture wasn't drawn, but an actual photograph and Sora didn't seem to understand the difference.

"Isn't it pretty..?"

The older male didn't say a word or even move. A photograph of himself when he was younger. A lot younger.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sora has a picture of Doctor Riku from when he was younger! How cute.. Anyway, I haven't really been updating, so I made this chapter a little longer. I also made a livejournal, go me. R&R. 

Oh and to Yukari Youkai, Sora has Split Personality Disorder. Schizophrenia and Split Personality Disorder are NOT the same thing. Split Personality is basically having two people in one body, except one isn't real. Schizophrenia is completely different, people with Schizophrenia suffer from hallucinations (and other things), but don't actually have another personality.

-_Mon_**sters**-


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!_**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**5**

ChApTeR: fIvE

**5**

"It hurts a little.." Sora blushed a deep shade of red as Cloud stroked his cheek.

"I know.. I know it hurts.." the blond pushed the brunette down on the bed, his lips crushing against Sora's in a gentle, chaste kiss.

The younger boy wrapped his arms tightly around Cloud's neck. He didn't mind having his shirt and pants off now... he felt safe with his older brother. Sora felt confident around Cloud, hell.. He'd get naked for Cloud.

The blond pulled back and gazed at Sora's stomach, flinching slightly as he did so. The burn marks on his young brother's stomach bothered him.. Not because of how they looked.. But because his father had given him them..

"It hurts.." Sora whimpered and tangled his finger's in Cloud's hair. He wasn't afraid of being caught anymore.. He didn't care if their mother or father found out. Sora liked laying on their bed in their room, having the older boy worship him with kisses and licks and affection.

"I know.." the blond looked into Sora's blue eyes, "how far... do the burn marks go..? Why did dad give them to you..?"

The brunette hooked his thumbs onto the inside of his boxers and pulled them off. He tossed them to the floor on top of his other clothes and watched Cloud's eyes wonder up and down his body. Sora liked that.. Knowing Cloud was checking him out.

"They go down to here.." he grabbed the older boy's hand and slid it down his body and over the marks. He brought Cloud's hand all the way to his thigh before letting his hand go. "And dad gave them to me.. Because.."

Cloud couldn't help but blush lightly. Sora was.. A little desperate for attention.. And he knew the older male would give it to him. And Cloud did.. He rubbed the younger boy's thigh very gently, receiving purrs from the other.

"Because why, Sora?" Cloud reached down and kissed his young half sibling's forehead, "tell me everything. I want to make your pain go away. I want to take your pain away, Sora.. I want to love you.."

"Because I wouldn't let him fuck me.."

The blond blushed, he hadn't realized Sora had picked up such a colorful vocabulary over the few months. Then again.. Sora was thirteen.. He probably heard those words at school or from their father..

"Is... is that what he said?"

Sora shook his head, "daddy said he only wanted to fuck me so momma could watch." he paused and watched his brother's eyes, "he said momma liked that kinda stuff.."

Cloud swallowed the large lump in his throat. It bothered and worried him that Sora was unfazed by any of this. And that his mother... wouldn't stop their father..

"Does momma love us?" Sora's innocent eyes were suddenly filled with deep sadness and sorrow. "Cause.. Even if momma doesn't love me.. And even if she is mean, I still love her.."

Cloud cupped Sora's cheek, "momma doesn't love anyone.. Momma isn't even really a woman, Sora.." he paused and watched the tears roll down his brother's beautiful face, "you're naive, Sora.. Momma and dad.. They don't love us. Neither of them have ever loved us.."

"Stop it, Cloud.." the brunette sniffled and shook as more tears fell down his cheeks.

The blond sat up on the bed and watched his now crying brother sit up as well. He blushed, seeing that Sora was still naked.

The older of the two opened up his arms and Sora quickly scrambled into them. Cloud only had his pants on due to Sora who had complained that his shirt hid his beautiful body.

"You love me, right..? Please say you do, Cloud.."

"Of course I love you, Sora. I love you so much.." he held the other closely, the feel of Sora being naked turning him on slightly. And for that, he felt guilty.

The younger boy looked up at Cloud and after a moment or so, he closed the gap between them. The kiss wasn't chaste this time.. This time, Sora took control and the kiss became tongue filled and hot..

And Cloud felt even more guilty as his pants stiffened.

* * *

"Who are you?" Riku felt sick as he continued to look at the picture.

Sora frowned, "I'm Sora, doctor. Something wrong..? You look sick.." he tilted his head to the side, his childish innocence hadn't left him. He always had it and Cloud was to partly blame for him never growing up.

Riku quickly pocketed the picture, wanting to keep it for now. "No. I'm fine." he paused, wondering if he should start questioning about the phone calls, "..Sora.."

"Hm?"

"Sit.."

The brunette sat down on a cot in the room, his legs hanging off of it and swinging slightly. He intertwined his fingers and put them in his lap as he looked around the room, acting as if he had never been here before. Sora bit down on his lower lip as he gazed around, a cute look for the boy.

Riku hesitantly took a seat next to him.

"Tell me, Sora.. Tell me about yourself.." Yes. He'd start here. Riku feared that suddenly yelling about the phone messages would scare Sora, and he didn't want to do that..

"My father was a rapist and child molester, my half brother loved me, and my best friend blew his brains out all over my bedroom floor.." Sora became dazed looking.

"Tell me about your friend.." Riku wondered where the brunette's mother was.

"We were fighting because he wanted to commit suicide. So after awhile, I gave up and told him to do it. I don't remember what happened because I blanked out.. But when I came back, there was a bunch of blood and stuff on my floor and my friend was dead.. I remember screaming and Cloud came in, thinking I caused the murder.. Probably because my hands were covered in his blood.."

Riku blinked, he hadn't expected Sora to be so open. "Blanked out? And how did you get blood on your hands?"

"Yea. I blanked out.. I wasn't there. I think Riku took over my body, but I don't think he killed my best friend.. I think Riku did touch him though. That's where the blood came from.."

"Sora.. What about your mother?"

Silence.

"What was she like?"

Silence.

"Sora?"

"My mother... hated me.."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yep. Half-incest between Cloud and Sora. Man.. It'll go into detail about their mother being the way she is. Their father.. Well.. Sora pretty much summed their father up. In the next chapter or so, you'll start to find out how Sora developed "Riku" as a second personality. It'll make sense, I hope. Oh.. And don't kill me if my facts aren't totally right.. Don't start sending me reviews with bad grammar and English that say things like 'Ur fackts r wrng!' yea, well, your spelling sucks ass, but I don't complain. R&R. 


	6. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**6**

ChApTeR: sIx

**6**

"He's pretty! So pretty! Such nice, pretty hair and pretty, pretty eyes!" Sora gazed at the picture with childish delight. "Where did you get it?"

Cloud felt a pang of jealousy as the younger boy worshiped the picture. But should he really be jealous? It was nothing but a picture of some kid swinging.. He had taken it a while back, just because the kid had reminded him of Sora.

"I took it when you were younger.. A lot younger. The boy reminded me of you, even though he looked older than you." Cloud shrugged as Sora giggled.

The blond haired boy had fourteen year old Sora in his lap. Both sat on their bed in their bedroom once again, blocking out the screaming and yelling from their parents. It made Cloud very happy to see his younger half sibling giggle and be amused so easily.

"I love you, Cloud." the younger boy turned in his brother's lap, earning a soft moan from him. Sora liked that.. He had grown to love these sounds.

The brunette placed the picture down on the bed and then cupped the other's cheeks. "Do you love me?" he kissed the other's lips, squirming slightly as he felt Cloud's hands trail down to his bottom.

"Of course I love you.." the blond kissed Sora's lips, squeezing the brunette's bottom and earning a satisfied moan. Cloud was seventeen now.. And as soon as he hit eighteen, this would all be illegal. But it didn't really matter.. Not anymore.

"If you love me.." Sora was now laying on his back, his shirt off and Cloud trailed kisses and licks up and down his chest and stomach. "How come you won't tell me everything about our family?"

Cloud licked a circle around the brunette's belly button, eyes half lidded, "because.." he scooted up, back to the other's chest and kissing one of his nipples, "you don't need to know yet.. Live without this knowledge for as long as you can.."

Sora sighed softly as Cloud's hands came to rest on his hips, "but I want to know.." a moan escaped his lips as the older boy began to skillfully tease his right nipple, "I.. Need to know.."

* * *

_Sora_

_I hate you. I HATE YOU! Stop it! Stop letting Cloud touch me! I don't like him, I don't like it when his hands touch me... there.. I don't.. He's your brother! What's wrong with you? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! And why do you have my picture? Where did you get it? Did you steal it from me? Stop hiding my picture! Give it back, give it back, give it back! I hate you! I hate you, Sora! Stop it! Stop, stop, stop! Stop hiding my things! Stop letting that freak touch me! Stop hiding my picture!_

_With love.._

_Riku_

* * *

Sora moaned very slightly as Cloud pushed against him. Yes. He wanted this. He wanted Cloud more than he wanted anything.. Cloud loved him. Cloud loved him more than anyone else ever would.

"Are you sure about this?" the blond was on all fours over Sora, both boys naked and hot. "Sora.. Please... don't do this for me, I don't want to take your virginity from you.. Don't do this to please me."

The brunette's eyes were half lidded and his body was covered with saliva and sweat, "I love you, Cloud.." his breath was uneven, "I want you.. I don't care if we're related.."

The older boy smiled softly, glad for the reassurance. "It.. It'll hurt at first.." he placed a kiss on his brother's cheek.

Sora nodded, swallowing thickly, "I know.." a pause, "please do it.."

The blond boy blushed a light shade of pink. He had already prepped the other and was slightly nervous, afraid of hurting the other or worse.. Having their parents hear. That was the last thing he wanted.

Slowly, Cloud pushed himself inside of Sora, earning a gasp and a whimper. He had both hands on Sora's shoulders, pushing himself further in, earning another whimper.

Cloud's eyes became half lidded and he kissed the other's neck, reassuring him. "Does it hurt too much?" he licked the other's ear with caused Sora to shiver.

"N-no.. Go.." Sora sighed, biting his lower lip as the other thrust softly into him.

* * *

**(Hah! You thought 'LEMON!' well WRONG!)**

Riku rubbed his eyes. He was tired and ready to go home for the day. His talk with Sora had gone horribly wrong.. Seeing as he had been attacked and five nurses, plus three doctors, all had to hold Sora down and give him some 'sleepy time' medicine (that's what Kairi called it anyway).

He cast a glance over at the box of letters he had received from Kairi and Mr. Strife, wondering if he should open up another one. He was tired, had been attacked.. So why not add to the stress of another letter?

This time, he picked up a blue envelope. Probably from Sora to Riku.

_Riku_

_I'm sorry for hiding you. I hope we can still be friends. Cloud is my lover.. I wish you wouldn't try and come out at the worst of times.. You were almost exposed to Cloud when we were having sex. It wouldn't have been pretty if I suddenly started freaking out because you took over my body... Cloud would've felt absolutely horrible and I love him. I don't want him to feel that way.. And it was my first time too! What if he felt he wasn't doing a good job? I won't hide you as much anymore, ok? You can come out more to breathe if you want.._

_Sora_

Riku swallowed hard. Sora Strife and Cloud strife.. Half brothers. Incest, of course.. Why didn't he remember? Dr. Gainsborough had told him..

Even though the doctor knew it was incest, it still took him by surprise that Cloud and Sora had had sex. And how many times? And where did he- Riku.. fit into all of this? Sora held all the answers and yet Riku could get nothing out of him.

Sighing, he tossed the letter aside and rubbed his eyes again. The outcome of this situation wasn't going to be a pretty one..

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yummy. Cloud/Sora-ness. Sorry, I'm a Cloud/Sora fan.. Plus, I think that if Sora was hurt/in danger, Cloud would come to the rescue. And in this story, Sora is hurt and he is in danger. He's got no friends so he hungers for Cloud's attention.. Even though Cloud's trying to help Sora by loving him, he's hurting the other. That was for the stupid people who didn't get that, by the way. Hehe, review damnit. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**_Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder.._**

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**7**

ChApTeR: sEvEn

**7**

Melancholy eyes searched the kitchen as she looked at everything - something - that might help her in the current situation. She was on the brink of losing both of her children and her husband sat, idly, in a chair at the kitchen table. Both boys, both her children, sat on the ground. Cloud's arms around Sora as he cradled the other softly.

"I.." she tried to speak, but her voice became tight and the knot in her throat wouldn't disappear, "how did he.." she didn't finish, breaking off to give a half sob.

"I hate you!" Cloud yelled, his face flushed and his eyes rimmed red. "I fucking hate you!" he held Sora tight in his arms, the other not even bothering to move.

Sora's arms lay limp on the ground as the blond boy held him. The brunet did not move, nor did he speak or stir from his slumber as the yelling took place. His slumber was dangerous, given the circumstances.

"Cloud, honey.. Baby doll.." she pleaded with her eldest son, trembling, "I love Sora, just as much as I love you.. I didn't mean to.."

"Shut up!" he was panting hard, his eyes mean and his face fierce, "you're a liar! A liar! You hate us, you hate Sora! If you had one shred of humanity, you wouldn't force us to stay here with him!" he shot a look towards his step father who glowered back.

She sobbed once more and turned away, her little action enough to push Cloud over the edge. He unwrapped his arms from Sora who seemed to stir only enough to lean against a wall and fall in and out of reality. Cloud stood, walking over to his mother and grabbing her shoulder, spinning her around so she was facing him.

"You're a bitch." he spat his words like poisonous venom, "a filthy bitch!"

She shook, tears streaming down her face and Cloud felt a nasty pleasure in the pit of his stomach. This was something he had never felt before, but it felt good to watch his mom tremble and cry just as he and Sora had done so many times before.

"You don't deserve to live.. You don't deserve anything you have! I hate you so fucking much! You're a horrible, filthy bitch! Your only pleasure in life is watching the people around you suffer and slowly die away!" he was practically screaming now.

She burst into uncontrollable sobs and shakes and fell to her knees. Cloud looked at her nastily, as if she were something on the bottom of his shoe. He had meant every word he said.. He hated her. He wished her dead.

Their father still sat at the kitchen table, watching the scene play out in front of him. A smirk was gracing his lips as he watched his wife cry and as he watched his step son glare at her.

"I'm taking Sora.." Cloud's voice was now soft and he noticed the smirk drop from his father's face.

His mother looked up at him, eyes fearful and wide, "why..? You can't! He.. He has to stay here! You'll be going to college soon and what will you do with him? Oh, Cloud.." she bit her lower lip, "Cloud, Cloud, Cloud... darling, baby.. No. He... my baby Sora has got to stay here.."

The blond's eyes were hard and merciless and he glared fiercely at her, "I don't care! Fuck college! Sora has to get away from here before he suffers any more damage from this fucked up family!"

"And you're going to save him?" his father asked, mockingly.

Cloud ignored him, "I'm taking him. I know where to go.. I know what to do."

His mother sobbed and more tears streamed down her flushed face as she stared at the floor, "he has to go to the hospital, Cloud! You're going to kill him! You're going to kill my baby! You're going to kill him and ruin your own life!"

By this time, Cloud had had enough. He grabbed a fistful of his mother's hair and yanked her head back, forcing her to look up at him and face him, "Sora seems like he's going to die either way, you whore. Why don't you go and change your gender again, huh? Why don't you, _dad_?"

These words struck a blow to his mother and to his step father. She looked up on her own will, fearful and trembling more than ever. Cloud's step father had gotten out of his chair and was glaring wildly at the two of them.

"Aww." Cloud mocked, "did "mom" leave something out? Did daddy not know about mama's old life?" he let go of her hair and stepped back from the pathetic woman at his feet.

Sora had begun to stir slightly and he looked at the three figures in the kitchen. He ran his hand through his hair, noticing an odd wet feeling as he did so. The brunet pulled his hand out of his hair and gasped; blood.

Cloud glanced over at Sora who was struggling to his feet, using the wall for support. The blond winced and walked over to his lover and brother, picking him up and cradling him once more.

"Cloud.." he kissed the other's lips briefly, lightheaded and dizzy.

With a shaky breath and one last look at his parents, he walked over to the front door, opened it, and began to walk.

He had to save Sora.. Nothing else mattered anymore.

* * *

A half hour or so had passed since Cloud had walked out of his home with his baby brother in his arms. He held the other tightly, thankful the sky was clear of clouds and that the night was cool. The blond was also thankful that Squall Leonhart, one of his good friends, didn't live that far away.

Sora stirred in Cloud's arms once more. He had been, once again, coasting between awake and asleep. He looked up at Cloud, a small smile gracing his pink lips.

"What happened? Am I still bleeding?"

Cloud shook his head, his spikes moving slightly, "you're ok now.. The blood stopped. You'll be fine.. I'm taking us to Squall's place, ok? Just.. Just for tonight. You need some rest.."

Sora nodded sleepily and nuzzled against his older brother, "what happened though?"

Cloud took a shaky breath, "you... told mom that you knew... that you hated her... and that she would never ever be your mother because she was never really female.. Then dad walked in.." he paused, "and you went off on dad.. And he hit you."

Sora blinked, trying to recall what happened, "that hard?"

Cloud shook his head again, "no.. your cheek, I don't know if you feel it, it's bruised.. Mom freaked though, especially since dad knocked you to the floor.. So she grabbed the frying pan off of the drying rack and swung it at dad.." he paused, looking at Sora who seemed fully awake now, "and I came in and told them to stop.. I had heard you and dad arguing and I came down when your voice stopped.. I told mom and dad to stop and they wouldn't. And you stood up.."

"And mom accidentally hit me.." he bit his lower lip.

"Y-yea.." the blond looked at his younger brother, "I'm sorry.."

Sora put on a reassuring smile, "it's ok. It's not your fault. I'm just glad we're out of there.." he wrapped his arms around Cloud's neck and nuzzled him. "Love you.."

"Love you too..." his words were hollow and empty.

* * *

**Author's Note:** One step closer to.. THE TRUTH! Well, not really.. Just a whole chapter on their past and crap. Sorry about the long wait guys.. Excuse errors, it's 4:30 AM in the morning. 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**Warning:** **Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder..**

**Author's Note:** What can I say? Sometimes, I get bored.. Long wait. Next Chapter.

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**8**

ChApTeR: eIgHt

**8**

A long gash ran down the side of his arm, but it was thin and hardly bleeding. His shirt was disheveled, his hair out of place, and his pants were hanging very loosely off of his hips because his brother had stolen his belt. He rubbed the gash on his arm and touched his upper lip. There was blood on his fingers because he had gotten hit and his braces had impaled on his lips. It had been an awful fight between him and his brother and it was still continuing now.

"Why don't you just give up already? Call it quits?" his brother's voice was sly and his eyes were snake-like. He didn't look half as bad as the other; his clothing and hair were messy, but he had only received a bloody nose and finger prints around his wrist from where he had been grabbed.

Their fight was at a stalemate. Both were refusing to give up.

"Oh, what's this? Not going to talk now? Well, I have ways to make you talk, Riku." his voice was evil, twisted, and with a quick movement, he had grabbed Riku's kitten (who was called Sora) off of the floor.

The small animal struggled briefly in the other's grasp. It was a black kitten with white spots and it was Riku's prized possession. His eyes went wide and he went towards his brother, but quickly stopped. And now he saw what his brother had been talking about all along. A way to make him talk.

He had grabbed Sora by his neck and he flung open the window. Riku stood in the middle of their bedroom and his brother stood at the other end, the window open, and the kitten hanging outside of it. Of course, since they were in an apartment building (and living on the twelfth floor), Riku panicked.

"Ok! Ok, I'm sorry! Please don't. Don't throw Sora out the window. He didn't do anything wrong!" Riku's chest was rising and falling quickly. His pet kitten meowed and struggled and Riku's brother's grin widened.

"I think kitty wants to go. Don't you, little kitty?" his eyes were wicked and Riku felt his own eyes mist over. His kitten was his only friend. He was homeschooled. Their mother didn't believe in public school. And the tenants of the apartment complex were... shady characters.

"No! I'm sorry! Oh, God, please don't! I'm begging you!" Riku did the only thing he could and get down on his hands and knees, his head bowed with shame. His brother's cruel laugh was all that could be hard for quite a few moments.

"Oh? Well, if you're begging.." Riku looked up, "then... I guess..." and with a flick of his wrist, he had tossed Sora out the window.

Rage had built within Riku and he had jumped from his position on the floor and tackled his brother. His fist were clenched around his brother's shirt and half of his sibling was hanging out the window. Riku was screaming incoherent words and his brother just watched him, smiling. Riku was shaking him, spitting because he was screaming and yelling so much.

And the only words he remembered saying were 'I outta throw _you_ out the window..'

* * *

Sora awoke with a start and gazed around the bedroom. It was dark and the ticking of a nearby clock was all that could be heard. His head pained him and his cheek hurt - probably from where he had gotten hit. The brunet lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering where he was and how he got there and where was Cloud. More importantly, where were their parents? Only bits of what happened were registering in his mind and he was trying to piece together the past.

"Cloud.." he called out, finding that his throat was dry. For the first time, he noticed he was half naked. Only garbed in his blue boxers.

The brunet yanked the blankets off of himself and stood. Feeling blinded, he felt his way around the darkened room, touching the walls and looking for a light switch. Upon finding one, he flicked it on and immediately realized he was in Leon's bedroom. He should've known; the darkness, the ticking of the clock, the dark green bedcovers.

Sora opened the door and walked out, his arms wrapping around his chest as he realized how cold he was. It was summer though, wasn't it? Of course Leon had the AC pumping throughout the house.

"Cloud? Squall?" the brunet called as he walked into the living room. Squall lived in a one story house. In fact, he could've gotten by with living in a one room apartment. He was a lone man, no girlfriend or boyfriend.. Sora was beginning to suspect that maybe Leon was asexual.

The living room was just as dark, so he hit the light switch on the right side of the wall. The lights flickered on and he heard a mutter, a curse, and then a tired yawn. He smiled, his lips curving upward slightly. Cloud was sleeping on the couch, curled up like a small kitten.

Sora bounded over to his brother and kissed his lips briefly, "Cloud. Wake up. I know it's late, but.." there was so much to explain, wasn't there? Sora wanted details of their adventure.

"Mm.. Sora?" the blond youth rubbed his eyes and sat up on the couch, patting the seat next to him. Sora obliged and cuddled up next to his brother, wrapping the dark green blanket around both of them. After all, the smaller boy was kind of cold.

"When are we going home?" that was the first question on Sora's mind.

"Never."

"Never?" a frown and a pout.

"Well.. Never's a long time. Soon, maybe.. I don't know. I don't want to talk about home right now." Cloud snaked an arm around Sora's shoulders and pulled the boy close. The younger one gladly accepted the warmth his older brother was giving off.

"Oh.. Ok.."

They were silent for a long time. Sora cuddled into the embrace and gave Cloud's chest a small lick. He was displeased to find that the older boy tensed, relaxed, and then looked away from him. He pouted and crawled onto his brother's lap, curling himself up and sitting on the Cloud's legs. Sora buried his face against the blond's neck and Cloud had begun to pet the younger boy, eliciting soft noises from the brunet.

"How's your head feel?"

"It hurts, but it's ok. My face hurts too." the brunet let his tongue flicker out and he placed a loving lick on the elder's neck. "I have bandages on my head, don't I? I remember bleeding, but.. After that, not so much. I remember you carrying me and... saying something about mom and dad and..." he trailed off, taking notice that Cloud didn't seem like he was listening.

"Hey, Cloud." he sat up, purposefully shifting and rubbing against the other's groin. "You ok? You seem bothered."

The older one was still petting Sora, his fingers sliding easily through the spiky locks of hair. He sighed and shook his head, his lips connecting to Sora's for a few brief seconds. Cloud's attention to Sora was waning and the brunet could tell. It bothered him and he knew that he should back off of Cloud for a while..

"I'm going to go back to bed after I get a drink of water." Sora hopped off of Cloud's lap and the older boy felt a sudden emptiness in his chest. He had wanted Sora to go away and now it was bothering him. His heart burned.

"Sora," the brunet turned and looked at his brother. The younger sibling had taken the dark green blanket with him. It was draped about his shoulders and he looked like a childish prince. "um.. Sleep with me?"

A grin spread across his features and he nodded eagerly, "yea. I'll be right back." and he stalked off into the kitchen, taking the beautiful green blanket with him.

* * *

Riku rubbed his forehead. His eyes were sore because he hadn't been able to get any sleep. His brother and his kitten. The scene kept running through his mind and he was finding it harder and harder to concentrate on his work. He ran a hand through his hair, irritation blazing in his aquamarine eyes.

"Goddamnit." he cursed and threw his pen down. His hands went straight to his eyes because they itched something fierce.

"Something the matter?" Kairi had walked into the room to see Riku throw his pen down irritably. "Something you'd like to talk about, perhaps?"

Riku looked up at Kairi, a smile playing on his lips. He shook his head and stood up from his desk. "No. I'm alright. I'm just tired. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.." he shuffled some papers into a neat pile and then crammed them into the front drawer of his desk, "I had nightmares and Lord knows I haven't had those in a long time."

"Childhood memories?" Kairi leaned against the doorway.

He looked up, his mouth hanging open slightly and his eyes sort of glazed over, "yes. How did you..?"

She shrugged her small shoulders and stood up straight. Kairi reached up and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, "Sora seems... to bring out the worst in some of us.." and with that said, she walked out of the room.

Riku eyed the spot Kairi had just been standing in and ran another hand through his hair. Now he remembered. Sora had treated Kairi like a slave and she yelled at him, screamed at the boy and refused to serve him now. Of course, she apologized for getting out of control, but Riku assigned a new nurse for Sora anyway. His name was Roxas.

Riku grabbed the pen he had thrown aside and placed it in his pocket. He had a meeting with Sora today, who... seemed to be doing a little better. Or maybe that was just an act. Riku didn't know, he hardly ever saw Sora. But he did know that the brunet tried to escape quite a few times. Whether it was really Sora escaping or Riku escaping.. Riku didn't know.

The doctor walked down the hallway, his head held high and his long, silver hair wavering behind him. He opened Sora's door and noticed he was laying in a hospital bed. Kairi had said they had to move Sora to a room with a very small window (and lower to the ground) to keep him from hurting himself. After all, he had broken his arm jumping out of the window, trying to escape from this place.

Riku's thoughts went back to his kitten. Sora, the magnificent kitty cat who had been mercilessly tossed out a window. His head hurt and he found himself rubbing his eyes again, this time to keep himself from crying. He thought he had successfully suppressed that particular memory, but it was rearing it's ugly head once more.

"Good afternoon, Sora. How's your arm?"

"Hi." he was staring out at the window, his eyes glazed, "it hurts."

"Mm.. We won't try jumping out of the window again, now will we?" Sora looked at Riku and gave a soft smile. The brunet reached out and touched the doctor's face, stroking his cheek softly for a brief moment.

Riku's cheeks were pink from the tender contact, "ah.." he was surprised to find he wanted Sora to touch him again, "w-well.. How's.. Riku?"

"You tell me." Sora was gazing out the window again, "how are you?" the brunet was crawling out of his bed, leaning on the side so that his and Riku's faces were close.

"Fine.." his face was pink and he wanted Sora to work with him.. But now he was being seduced by a boy with a broken arm and mental problems. "S-Sora.." he reached a hand out and touched the other's cheek, "I know you.. From somewhere, don't I?"

The brunet had gotten off of his bed now and was sitting on Riku's lap, curling up and wrapping his arms around the other's neck. This was the sort of thing Sora would do to Cloud, to get attention or ... perhaps something else.

"Maybe.." truthfully, Sora knew the answer. They had meant, once. But Sora had suppressed that memory and so had Riku. It was an awful meeting.. And after that one meeting, they never saw each other again until now...

But did it really matter anyway?

"Sora, we really shouldn't be doing this.." Riku was cut short as Sora rubbed against his groin. The doctor let out a sudden breath and grabbed the younger boy by his hips. He stood, placing Sora down. This was wrong. They really shouldn't.

"Riku.." Sora traced the other's lips with his index finger, "we did meet once... If you think about it, maybe you'll remember too.." he drew his hand back and pressed his lips to his doctor's own.

It was a short kiss, but Riku found it to be strangely arousing. Sora's lips were so soft and his body was so smooth.. Everything about the brunet was soft and gentle and... It drove Riku wild.. But how could it? They were ages apart. Riku was a doctor, Sora was his patient.

Sora had inappropriate relationships with his brother. Riku was a successful workingman attempting to heal people. And didn't Sora still love Cloud..?

"Stop." he pushed Sora away. The younger boy had started to shove his hands inside Riku's shirt, feeling ever muscle and every twitch. It drove Riku wild, but they had to stop.

Sora was obedient. He did stop. And once he did, Riku left in a hurry. He was hot and bothered and his pants were beginning to feel a little tight and how would that look? How would that look to the staff? And Kairi? She knew he hadn't had a man in years..

* * *

Cloud lay on a chair in Dr. Gainsborough's office. She was writing something down on a piece of paper and Cloud noted how pretty she looked sitting there. She looked intelligent, she looked tough. She looked like she could take down four grown men without breaking a sweat..

"Mr. Strife.. I see we scheduled another session for today?" she put whatever she was writing into her desk and clicked her pen closed. Dr. Gainsborough intertwined her fingers and focused all of her attention on the man in front of her.

"Yes. I skipped our last one. I'm sorry.. I just.." he stopped, shrugged and didn't speak again. It was hard for him to admit all of his feelings to someone he hardly knew. He had skipped the last appointment because he was afraid of what she might think of him.

"It's alright, you don't have to worry about it, Cloud. I'm glad you showed up for this appointment. It's important that I know the details of your childhood. I want to help you because by helping you, we might be able to help Sora. And you want to help Sora, don't you?"

Cloud felt defensive now. He felt as if he were being patronized and he shifted uneasily in his chair, "yes. Of course."

"Alright then.. Lets start from where we left off.. Your parents.." Dr. Gainsborough smiled pleasantly at him and Cloud felt his defense drop. What did it matter? She was trying to help him, not make a fool of him. Being in her office was too much like being in a confessional for his taste though.

"Like I said before, Sora's mother was my father.." he paused and sighed, "my father was a deadbeat and my mom left him right after I was born. I was a baby living on the streets with my dad.. I don't know how, but he got a wad of cash. He figured women got treated better, especially women with little babies, so he got a sex change."

Dr. Gainsborough had taken something out of her desk and was beginning to write things down. It made Cloud anxious.

"It worked out, I suppose. For him. I didn't know what was going on because I was little. Anyway, my dad - now my mom - got picked up by a guy. They got married and they had Sora. My dad - or mom - told me never to tell anyone about the sex change. Especially his... her.. Husband."

"And why not?" Dr. Gainsborough questioned.

"It was simple.. The guy my dad married didn't know my dad was a man. And if my step dad found out about my dad's sex change.. He'd literally kill my dad, Sora's mother.." Cloud looked at Dr. Gainsborough with serious, beautifully blue eyes.

"What became of your parents?"

".. Sora's dad killed my dad.. And Sora's dad is still in jail.."

Dr. Gainsborough said nothing for a while. She scribbled something down, frowned, and then sighed. "Do you mind if I ask how Sora's father found out about the sex change?"

Cloud shifted, uneasy now. He looked at his psychiatrist with heart-breaking eyes and she immediately understood. He could never bring himself to say it, but he was the one who told. Cloud had helped in killing his own father..

* * *

A crowd had gathered outside of the apartment building. Some of the people were pointing to the two boys (who were almost half-hanging out the window) while others were staring at the small black and white kitten who was hanging from a windowsill eleven floors above the ground; just under Riku and his brother.

The boys had left the window now and all eyes were on the small kitten. Someone had called the fire department while others were waiting for the kitten to fall. There was a throng of people in front of the building and if the kitten fell, they'd be there to catch it. Nobody felt like scraping a kitten off the sidewalk today.

Sora and Cloud (who had been walking by on their way home from school) looked at the crowd of people. They saw the kitchen hanging from the windowsill and Cloud couldn't help but give a little laugh. Sora frowned at him.

"Poor kitty. Wonder how it happened."

Cloud shrugged and grasped Sora's wrist, pulling him towards the front of the crowd. They stood on the outside of the mob of people and cast their gazes upwards. A fire truck had showed up and the ladder was being extended. They were actually going to save the kitten.

Within the next five minutes, the crowd had disappeared and everyone had gone back to their own business. The kitten had been saved. Sora and Cloud still stood on the sidewalk, watching the firemen and women. Sora smiled and waved to the women who had been on the ladder and she waved back.

"Come on, Sora. We need to get home.." Cloud grabbed the other's arm gently.

"Whoa, hold on." Sora wiggled lose from Cloud's grasp and ran over to the firemen and their truck. He walked over to the women who was holding the kitten and a brief discussion seemed to take hold between them. Cloud raised a blond brow.

"Ok. Lets go." the brunet, in his arms, held a small, black and white kitten who was purring with content.

"For an animal that was about to die.." Cloud reached out and rubbed it's ears, "it sure seems happy."

Sora gave the kitten a squeeze, "it's name is Riku."

And the cat seemed to purr louder at hearing it's master's name.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Eight pages of steaming, hot fanfiction! Chapter eight of Pachinko! Sorry for the long-ass wait. I hope I still have some faithful fans out there. If not, someone better round me up some new ones. Look for updates and new stories. And until then, just... review this one. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!**

**Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder..**

**Author's Note:** There isn't one.

* * *

Pa_chin_**ko**

**9**

ChApTeR: nInE

**9**

They all stood on the sidelines, jeering and chanting the word 'fight' over and over again as the two boys tussled on the ground in the school hallway. Some kids stood with their arms in the air and others put their hands around their mouths so their voices would project, but no one bothered to step in and stop the fight. Currently, it was a stalemate; no one was winning or losing.

Sora sunk his teeth into Riku's left arm and the older boy hissed in pain as blood was drawn. He struggled for a moment or two before managing to elbow the brunet right in the eye who quickly let go of the arm, but kept thrashing around like an animal. They had been on the ground; Riku laying underneath Sora and Sora on top of him, biting him and scratching him, and he had no idea why. But now they both stood at opposite ends, eyeing each other.

The jeering was unheard as Riku lunged himself at Sora, forcing them both to topple over and roll on the ground. The older boy didn't want to hurt the brunet, he just wanted to know why he was being attacked. Sora struggled like a rabid animal underneath Riku, trying to escape, shaking all over and yelling incoherent words. And now the older male was pinning him, pinning his wrist to the ground with both hands, to hold him in place, to keep Sora from attacking him with his small, boyish fists.

"Why?" his breath was coming in short and blood dripped down his face from the cuts and his arm throbbed from the bite. Aside from Sora's bruised eye, he was quite fine. "Why?" Riku asked again, his chest rising and falling.

"I hate you."

Confusion took over Riku's face and his hold went slack for only a brief moment, enough time for Sora to wiggle free and attack the older one. He had pinned Riku now and he was choking him, pressing down on his throat harshly, trying to kill him. The crowd had gone deathly quiet because the fight was no longer just two children fist-fighting, it had turned into something evil and wrong. Very wrong.

He was gasping for air now, like a fish out of water, struggling underneath the brunet. His fingernails dug into Sora's wrist, attempting to wound the other so he would be forced to let go, but it was to no avail. Things seemed to get brighter and darker at once and his struggling was becoming less and less. And now, it was as if he knew he was going to die.

Air was coming back into his lungs as the fingers were released. Someone had taken Sora off of him.

* * *

Riku awoke with a start, his hand going to his neck to finger the flesh, feeling for puncture marks that had previously been there almost fifteen years ago. He let out a shaky breath and got up from his bed. It was four in the morning and he didn't feel as if he could sleep any longer; not after that memory, anyway.

He ran a hand through his silver hair as he walked from the hallway and into the living room where he laid down on the couch. Great. Now _he_ felt like a patient instead of a doctor. Riku sat up quickly, uncomfortable, and gazed around the dark room.. He felt lonely.

The doctor turned on the lamp that sat on a side table next to the couch to give some light into the room. He opened a drawer, a small drawer where he had recently decided to keep all of Sora's letters, and yanked one out. It was from Sora to Riku. It was a silver envelope this time.. How had he overlooked a silver envelope when the rest were just... aqua and blue?

Another hand ran through his hair as he peeled open the envelope flap and yanked out the letter. And, by far, this was the strangest letter of them all.

_I'm sorry I tried to kill you._

That was all it said.

* * *

"I went back to my house after we had lived with Squall for a while. After I had tried to kill Riku, I ran away. I mean, it was only for a day or two, but I ran.. Riku didn't understand why I tried to kill him, but I wrote a letter to him. I was thinking about it and the letter.. It apologizes for what happened.."

"When did you write this letter?"

"Oh, a few days ago. I slipped into his office and put it in the box of letters. It was silver, like Riku's hair, so he'd be able to spot it." Sora put his arms behind his head, the red chair beneath him very comfortable. He let out a soft yawn and gazed up at the ceiling, eyes drifting and attention wavering as Kairi spoke. She sat opposite of him in a big, leather chair..

"Anyway, I ran away and I went home. The house was burned down to the ground and there was police tape everywhere, but no police. I learned later that my mother was dead.. After I went back to Squall's house, I held Cloud and cried and he explained everything that happened. About mom and dad, I mean. That mom was dead and dad was her murderer and on the loose.." he gazed at the ceiling again and things seemed to jump or rattle. Sora shut his eyes tight and let out a shaky breath. The rattling seemed to grow worse.

"By the time I go crazy and Cloud finds out about Riku, my other personality, dad has killed two other people.."

Kairi had stopped writing in her notebook and her eyes drifted to Sora's baby face. He looked so calm and peaceful and yet deeply confused. She smiled softly and held in a soft chuckle as she watched the patient swat at nothing in the air. It was bizarre, really.. One moment, Sora was acting like an uncivilized beast and the next... he's acting calm and weak, like a tired child ready for a nap.

"How do you know that? And who were the two people your father killed?"

Sora licked his lips, "Oh, it was on the news. 'Murderer Slaughters Teenage Boys'. I don't... remember their names, but my father said one of them looked like me and the other looked like Cloud."

"When did you talk to your father about the murder?" the auburn haired nurse shifted in her chair and leaned her arm on the armrest. She was still scribbling in her small notebook every now and then.

The rattling continued, "Oh.. After he was in jail. The last time we spoke.. It was... well, that was the last time we spoke. He said to me 'Sora, you tell your brother momma will always forgive him' and that was it. He got up and left and... we never spoke again."

"Did you tell Cloud what your father had said?"

"No. But.. I know I should've..."

* * *

The ground was covered in a thick blanket of white snow and the whole entire park was silent. The world was sleeping, hibernating, and the crisp snow was acting as a blanket for the dreadfully long sleep. The day was chilling to the bone and the skies were overcast, weathermen calling for a few more inches of snow during the late evening. Everything was crisp and beautiful and two boys trampled about in the snow, leaving marks and tracks with their boots, but being deathly quiet as if they were afraid speaking would awake the Earth and bring about the next season.

Roxas grasped Axel's hand in his own and squeezed it, his cheeks and nose pink from the bitter weather. It was the type of day that made you feel you were truly alive. A wind would pick up and rattle Axel's black coat and turn Roxas's eyes pink from the sudden chill. It was brisk and beautiful and it was perfect because, well, they were together on such a lovely day.

"Jesus, it's cold." a puff of white air emitted from his chapped lips as he spoke.

"You're the one wearing the thin trench coat. Are you even wearing anything _under_ it?" Roxas eyed his boyfriend.

And Axel simply grinned back, "Care to find out?"

"What, and catch a cold, have it turn into pneumonia, run up a hospital bill, linger a few months, and then finally die? No, I'll pass."

Axel shifted, grumbling something under his breath, "Can I have a kiss, then?"

Roxas stopped in his tracks and chewed his lower lip, as if he seriously thinking about it. Giving a small shrug, he stood on his toes and kissed Axel's lips. It was meant, truly, just to be a soft, gentle, and short kiss, but the redhead wrapped his arms around Roxas's body and refused to let go (though, Roxas _was_ enjoying it..).

Their tongues touched and the blond felt his body go hot and his cheeks flush pink. He pushed his tongue into Axel's mouth, hesitantly, and then began to touch everything he could. From teeth to gums and from gums to his boyfriend's tongue.. He squirmed and broke the kiss, suddenly wanting to know if Axel really _was_ wearing anything underneath his black coat..

"My, my.." the redhead's hands had moved from Roxas's body to his cheeks, "that was quite a lovely little kiss." he gave the blond a peck and then released him, feeling quite satisfied with how the day was turning out so far. "Come on, lets go down to the pond."

Axel grasped Roxas's hand and they trudged through the snow, making their way to the pond. It was, indeed, a very big pond. Big enough to freeze over and to have kids skate on it, but this year the ice was weak. It was unsafe to walk on because it could break very easily. Almost three kids had drowned so far this winter alone.

They reached the edge and gazed at the frozen pond. They weren't foolish enough to attempt to walk across it. Even Axel knew better than that. He squeezed Roxas's hand and let out a tired yawn. Snow made him sleepy and the silence was almost deafening. The blond smiled up at his boyfriend, but it quickly faded.

Someone was coming up to them very quickly. It was a bit hard to see in the distance, but Roxas could tell that it was a man and he had something in his hand.

Roxas turned back to look at the pond and spoke, "Do you see that man behind us?"

But Axel didn't have time to answer. Someone hard and cold had hit him and he fell. Blood was running down his forehead and onto his cheek and he couldn't talk. His vision was darkening and he couldn't understand what Roxas was saying or what was really going on. He moaned and grumbled and attempted to get up, but felt vomit rise from his stomach. Roxas was yelling.

"Stop!" he was struggling against the man who had tackled him and was strangling him, "stop!" tears ran hot down his cheeks and he was finding it harder and harder to breathe. Roxas struggled underneath the weight and he was trying to scream, but he couldn't. His tongue hurt and he wasn't sure why.

Axel was up now, a hand on his head in an attempt to mop up the blood. His vision was shaky, but he saw Roxas and their attacker. With a shudder, he picked up something (it was heavy and cold and he assumed it was what he had been hit with) and he ran up to their attacker, hitting him with the object square in the face. It knocked him off and he howled.

Roxas found he could breathe again and quickly stood, finding a nasty head rush overtake him. They had to run. They had to get out of the park or they were going to die. He was trying to speak, but his throat throbbed and more tears ran down his cheeks. Axel yanked him close, feeling a bit more aware. He was afraid. They both were. They couldn't run.

"It's okay.." he squeezed Roxas, "I think he's knocked out. It's okay.."

The blond was shaking his head, pressing his face into Axel's coat. His mind kept telling his legs to move, to run and find help, but he couldn't. Fear had paralyzed him and staying right there in Axel's arms felt like... protection. He didn't move. Neither of them did.

"Axel.." the voice came out choked and more tears spilled down his reddened cheeks.

There was movement in the snow, but neither boys took notice. The redhead was cuddling his lover tightly. The moment, they were hoping, was over, and once they had regained their wits, they would run... but they never did see him move.

A look of pain and confusion suddenly came over Axel's face and his hold on Roxas went slack. His arms fell to the sides and he fell to the ground, blood seeping through the snow. It was coming from the right side of his back. Multiple stab wounds. Roxas was stunned and shocked and he couldn't move. Axel wasn't dead, he was mouthing the word 'run', but the word wouldn't process.

Their attacker held a bloodied knife, a wicked look on his face. Roxas stepped back. His mind was torn. He wanted to run, but he wanted to save Axel. Axel was his world.

He fell onto the snow, on his knees, and his love took over his common sense. He pulled the redhead close and held him, tears running down his cheeks. Axel was still alive, he was saying incoherent words and his hand was going to wipe at the tears. Their attacker was watching the two boys with a disgusted look..

Cloud and Sora.

His foot connected with Roxas's chin and the blond fell backwards, dropping Axel into the snow. His jaw felt broken and he stood and began to run. Axel would live. He was tough. He just needed help and fast.

Within a moment, their attacker had caught up to Roxas and he tackled him once again. He drew the knife back and stabbed the blond in his right shoulder, relishing in his scream of anguish. He grabbed Roxas and began to drag him towards the pond with the soul intention of drowning him. There was a trail of blood in the snow and every now and then, Roxas would hear Axel cry for help, but it was such a soft, gentle, and short cry..

"Fucker." he broke a chunk of ice away and grabbed the back of the blond's neck, shoving his face into the exposed, chilly water. "Sora.. My son.." he was holding Roxas's face in the water, drowning him, and he was struggling, "my child.. Why did you leave? Why did you let Cloud do that?" tears were running down their attacker's face and Roxas's struggles were becoming less and less.

"Oh, Sora... Cloud is dead now. He's dying. He's.." Roxas had stopped struggling completely and his body went limp. The attacker stood and placed his bloodied knife next to the blond boy who he had mistaken for his son. Tears flowed down his old face and he walked away from the pond, feeling empty inside. Sora.. His Sora.. And Cloud.. His Cloud. All gone.

Roxas pulled his face out of the cold water, gasping in gulps of air. He was freezing. He sucked in as much air as he could, his shoulder paining him. Playing dead.. It had worked.. And now Axel.. He swallowed hard, praying, hoping, wishing that his lover was alright..

The blond stood and began to run back to Axel's resting point. He was slow when he ran now.. His shoulder was bleeding freely and his body didn't have enough air. But Axel.. His darling Axel whom he loved more than anything else in the world.. He was shivering and his lips were blue. Axel was still alive.

"Axel, Axel.." he said the name twice, whispering it, and he kneeled down next to his lover, "you're alive, you're.." his lower lip quivered and the redhead offered a soft smile. Roxas didn't move. He couldn't. But he was smiling right back at Axel, their eyes locked in a silent goodbye.

There was a gun at the back of his blond head.

"Axel.."

"Yea?" his voice was weak.

"I love you, you know.."

A bang rang out and the Earth was no longer sleeping.

* * *

"You hear something..?" Sora removed his earmuff at Cloud's words. "Like... the bang of a gun?"

He listened and then shrugged. They were on their way home from school.

Sora grasped Cloud's hand and squeezed it, his cheeks and nose pink from the bitter weather.

"Jesus, it's cold." a puff of white air emitted from his chapped lips as he spoke.

Sora laughed, "yea, it really is.."

* * *

**Author's Note:** God, finally. I had no idea what to write for this chapter, but like.. Yes, here it is. In all it's wonderful Axel and Roxas dual death scene. If you're wondering, their attacker was, indeed, Sora and Cloud's dad. Also, at the time he killed them, he believed they were Sora and Cloud and not Axel and Roxas. Bummer, huh? 


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer:** I do not own** any of these characters (Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy) in this story. All of these graphics belong to Square-Enix!

**Warning: Shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, male/male relationships, gay, homosexual... whatever you want to call it. Oh, and split personality disorder..**

**Author's Note:** Okay, I think I need to clear up a few things here. First off, I don't tell the time for each memory or dream that happens because I like it to be confusing. If you pay attention, Sora is staying at the mental institute and, of course, he's not allowed outside without a nurse or something. But, I can understand the confusion with the whole 'you said Roxas was alive and here you killed him, so... when did this scene take place?'. Yes, I know what I said. Yes, I did it on purpose. Yes, the Roxas/Axel dual death scene happened _before Cloud and Sora left their parent's house and went to stay with Squall_. So, there you have it.

Now, in this chapter, we see a bit of the truth seeping out from the cracks in the wall of confusion.

---------------------------------------

_Pa_chin**ko**

**9**

ChApTeR: nInE

**9**

"I don't like you." Sora was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled close to his chest, his face contorted into a pout. He was sitting as far away from Roxas as he could.. He couldn't boss Roxas around like he could Kairi.. He couldn't intimidate or seduce the blond and it made him nervous.

A cold laugh left his lips and smiled, almost like Sora's father used to. The brunet shivered, the hair on the back of his neck raising at the look on his nurse's face. Roxas was always unkind to him.. Bringing him cold soup or forcing food down his throat when Sora refused to eat. He was rough and ruthless and the brunet couldn't tell anyone.. No one believed him. Not after the way he treated Kairi..

"I don't like you either." Roxas had a sneer on his face, a look that didn't compliment his features at all.

"Then why are you here!" Sora was shaking and he felt things in his brain rattle. His vision was shaking as if someone had taken his head off of his shoulders and was shaking it about. A headache suddenly overcame him and he glared, trying to stop the rattling. There was so much noise...

And yet, he neglected to tell Riku this. Riku... Riku cared.

"I know, you know.." Roxas was sitting in a chair now, far away from Sora's bed. He crossed his legs and placed both hands on top of his kneecap, a smile on his features. He looked wild, crazy. "About you and Riku.."

Sora's flushed and swallowed hard, looking down and off to the side. It had to be a bluff. "I don't know what you're talking about. I want you to leave!" he grabbed the pillow and violently threw the stuffed object at Roxas who caught it with one hand. He was quick. It scared Sora. It didn't even look like the blond had _moved_.

"Oh, come off it, Sora.. Your face gives you away. The way you flushed.." Roxas licked his lips, "Riku.. You think he cares, don't you? And he hasn't told anyone, has he? It explains your behavior.. One minute you're a time bomb ready to blow and the next you're weak and tired. That dumb dazed look on your face after you've been with _him_.." his smile widened and as his cheeks lifted to fit the large grin, it sounded like leather rubbing leather. Or, that's what Sora had heard. A leather smile.

"Shut up!" he looked for something else to throw and when he found nothing, he cowered. "What do you know, Roxas? What do you do, watch him? Watch me?" fear was in his voice and he wasn't sure why. Sora couldn't get Roxas to bend to his will.. He couldn't get Roxas to back down. Didn't he remember? He didn't he know? Sora was crazy.

"I'm your nurse. I'm supposed to watch you.. And Riku, he hired me.." his smile faded and he almost looked human. "It's been two months.. Two months since you last talked to Kairi.. Two months since you've seen Cloud.. He hasn't come in for his daily visits.. He stopped seeing Dr. Gainsborough.."

Sora swallowed hard, feeling a lump swell up in his throat. Cloud.. He wished he hadn't thrown the pillow.. He wanted to hug it to his chest. He wanted Riku.. Someone to hold him, pet him, love him like Cloud _used _to.. Why hadn't he come? Why?

"Here." Roxas was suddenly in front of him, giving him back his pillow, like he knew Sora's inner want. "If you throw it at me again, I'll break your arm."

The brunet glared and snatched the pillow away, not liking the threat at all. Roxas wasn't human.. "I can throw with both arms." he held the pillow against his chest looking small and childish and mean.

"Then I guess I'll break both your arms."

And that threat sounded real.

"Now... are you going to be a good boy and repay me? Or am I going to have to expose your secret and Riku's secret?" Roxas grinned.

"Repay you for what?"

A harsh slap had crossed Sora's cheek. Hard enough to knock him down on his bed. He sat straight back up, stunned, only to receive another slap on his other cheek, this one not as hard. When the brunet finally did look at Roxas... the blond had fury and anger and hurt in his eyes and Sora... he didn't understand why. What had he done that was so bad? He didn't know who Roxas was. _What_ he was.

Without another word, the blond turned and walked to the door. Before he left, he turned, eyed Sora and grinned. Again, that leather rubbing leather sound came to his ears, "If you tell anyone about this.. I'll hurt you, Cloud, and Riku in more ways than you can think of. And that's a promise." and then he walked out, slamming the door harshly behind him.

The brunet could no longer hold it in. He hugged his knees close to his chest and began to cry. Not because of the slaps. They burned and he could feel the heat from them, but... that's not what he was crying about. Riku.. Cloud.. Everything Roxas had said. It all bothered him. Where was his brother? Why hadn't he visited? And as soon as he stopped visiting.. Why had Riku taken such a sudden interest in him? Because Sora had seduced him once?

He looked at the pillow, tears still flowing down his cheeks. Stupid Roxas.. He grasped the pillow and looked around for something sharp and when he found nothing, no windows to break, no mirrors to smash, no pens, pencils, scissors, or knives, he cried out and began to beat the pillow with his fists until they were red and burned. And by then, all the feathers had been punched out of the pillow.

---------------------------------------

"Sora." Riku walked into his patient's room, opening the door to find the brunet curled up on the bed, his dead pillow being left on the floor. It had been two or three hours since his talk with Roxas and the brunet couldn't help but feel he was being treated like a child in timeout.

"Sora.." the doctor walked over and rubbed the boy's shoulder, shaking him out of his fake sleep. He didn't want to see Riku, but he wanted to.. His stomach burned and as soon as the man had touched his shoulder, Sora had sat straight up and flung his arms about the man's neck, hugging him close.

"Well, hello to you too.." he squeezed the brunet close to his body, glad to feel the warmth of another human being. "Your face is red.. Your eyes are puffy.. Have you been crying, Sora?" the brunet had his face buried against Riku's shoulder, his body shaking slightly and he didn't answer. Riku frowned.

He grasped Sora's shoulders and pushed the other boy onto the bed, forcing him to sit. Riku took a seat right next to him. An arm snaked around the brunet's shoulder and he immediately responded, nuzzling and clinging to the male doctor, feeling completely helpless and lost..

"Riku.." his voice was soft and he buried his face against the man's side.

"Have you been crying, Sora?"

"No."

"Sora..."

"Yes.."

The silver haired man sighed and rubbed the brunet's side, squeezing his waist, and forcing him to squirm. "Why? What's bothering you? I'm your doctor.." it was hesitant, but he pushed Sora down on the bed, holding the boy's shoulders down and crawling on top of him, "and your lover.. Tell me what's been bothering you."

Sora eyed the man on top of him and swallowed harshly, "Roxas.. Cloud.. You.. Cloud.. He hasn't visited me like he always does and you... I don't understand. I'm strange.. I.." his voice choked, "you're my other personality.. I get hiccups - Riku hiccups - where we'll just switch on and off, on and off and.." he took a shaky breath, "I don't understand.."

Riku cocked his head to one side, "What's not to understand..? I like you.." he leaned forward, kissing his patient on the lips. It was, perhaps, the softest, most delicate kiss Sora had ever received. It was short, a peck, but the brunet could already feel that his whole body was hot and ready for more.

"No, I..." he didn't know how to put his thoughts into words.. Yes, he understood Riku liked him and he liked Riku back.. But how did Roxas find out? Why did Riku like him? And why had the Riku inside of him become suddenly calm and almost at peace.. Occasionally having conversations with Sora or sitting with him on the bed, stroking his hair and whispering things Cloud used to say into his ears..

"Cloud loves you, Sora.. Don't doubt his love for you. You two had something strong and I doubt he's just throwing it all away. He might be busy.. He has a life too.." Riku smiled gently, but Sora couldn't be comforted. He felt patronized.

"I'm part of his life, Riku!" tears were in his eyes again and he wiggled underneath the doctor who allowed Sora to move his arms. "He could call.. Or visit.. Why has he stopped seeing Dr. Gainsborough?" his voice was small, weak, just like how he felt.

"Who told you that?" Riku frowned and moved his hand to Sora's cheek, to wipe away some of the tears. "He stopped seeing her a while ago, way before he stopped visiting. I'll give him a call, Sora, if you want.. I'll tell him he misses you and ask him what's going on, okay?" he gave a small smile and the brunet needed, feeling only a little bit better.

Riku smiled fully at the nod, "I'll let you talk to him, if you want.." and that made Sora feel much better. Just to hear his brother's voice.. Even that would be enough. He just needed a small piece of Cloud. He.. He still loved the man. He wouldn't let him go.

"Now, my little afternoon delight.." the doctor had allowed his hands to wander into Sora's shirt, to feel his skinny body, to run his fingers over his belly-button, his ribs, his nipples, his collar-bone. "How do you feel now?"

Sora stroked one of Riku's arms, "Better.." he paused, wondering if he should bring up Roxas or not. The threat echoed in his mind and a shiver shot down his spine. Roxas could wait.. This couldn't. This couldn't wait another moment longer.

Riku positioned his knee so it was between Sora's legs, against his groin, and Sora felt like his whole body was blushing. He wrapped his arms around the doctor's neck, bringing him downward for a long, heavy kiss. It was soft, all of Riku's kisses were soft, and it felt good to have such a soft tongue in his mouth.

The doctor stroked the brunet's cheek, his other arm being used to hold himself up as his knee began to move against Sora's groin. The patient flushed, broke the kiss, and blushed harder as Riku found a steady rhythm, rubbing the boy's groin quickly and gently and then slower, but harder.

His back arched, his eyes half-lidded and his arms hung loosely around the doctor's neck. That was what Riku looked for.. He loved it. The look on Sora's face when he was being pleasured. Those beautiful, blue eyes half-lidded and almost confused looking, his lips slightly parted to let soft moans escape, and his cheeks always red. Always a bright shade of red when something felt good.

"Ah.." Sora swallowed hard, spreading his legs a bit more as the other rubbed him. He shut his eyes, bringing the doctor downward to hug him close and then he let his arms fall a bit limp.

Riku eyed his patient for a moment before going to lick and kiss his neck, being very careful not to stay on the same area for a long time. He could lose his job for this if someone caught him. And leaving a hickey wouldn't be the safest thing to do.

"Riku.." Sora's breath was coming in short pants and his arms tightened around the doctor's neck. It was pleasurable, it made him feel like he was home again.. With Cloud.. In their bed. He bit his lower lip, hard, as the doctor suddenly sunk his teeth into his neck, biting the flesh, almost tearing at it, as his knee rubbed slowly and harshly at the boy's groin.

The brunet licked his suddenly dry lips and arched his back more, finding it harder to relax when he was close. Still, the teeth sunk into his flesh which only added to the pleasure, and after another moment or two, Sora was in complete ecstasy.

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**(Gee, I hope I don't get suspended for the por- eeer... sensual writing.)**

"Cloud.." Squall walked up behind his husband and wrapped his arms about the man's waist, resting his chin comfortably on the blond's shoulder.. "Cloud, dear.." he let his lips brush the other's ear gently.

They both stood, silently, still, at the tall, wide window in the living room, gazing out at the backyard as the rain poured down almost violently. Thunder boomed throughout the sky and cracks of lightening could be seen. The rain was coming down in heavy, thick drops, and you'd be soaked as soon as you stepped outside.

"I miss him.." the younger of the two placed both of his hands on the arms around his waist, stroking them. "I miss him a lot, Squall.. I gave up everything for him.. Friends, family, possessions, school.." he felt the arms tighten around him and Cloud released a shaky breath from the pit of his stomach.

"I know you miss him, love.." the brunet allowed his lips to brush his husband's neck gently, "visit him. I know Dr. Gainsborough told you not to, but... perhaps phoning the institute would be alright?" Cloud had been sad and depressing since he stopped visiting Sora. "Maybe you should go visit anyway.. Maybe it'll be alright now."

Another shaky breath lift him and he wiggled away from the protective arms. "She said.. Dr. Gainsborough, I mean.. She said that Sora forced my life to be the way it turned out." Squall frowned and Cloud blushed, "I don't mean I'm not happy. I love you, you know that.. But.." he bit his lower lip, trying to pick out his words carefully, "she thinks that maybe... maybe if I had never succumbed to Sora's seductive behavior, I would've gone off to college and had an education, a life.."

Squall felt his heart throb and he turned away, refusing to show the hurt look in his eyes and features. Of course he knew what Cloud meant. It wasn't a stab at his own manliness or his own job or lifestyle..

But if it wasn't that, then what was it?

"Are you unhappy, Cloud?" still, Squall didn't turn around. Cloud shifted, clearly uncomfortable by the question. Unhappy with his husband? No. Unhappy with his life and how it had turned out? Yes. But how could he say that without offending the man he loved?

"Squall.. Look at me." the blond reached forward, wrapping both arms around Squall and yanking him close.

The older man shifted in his lover's arms and sighed deeply, both wrapping the other in a tight embrace. "Do you love me, Cloud?"

"Don't doubt how I feel about you.."

"I won't if you'd just give me a straight answer every once in a while."

Cloud frowned, "I don't mean to shove you out, Squall. I'm not trying to cause problems for us or our relationship. We're married.." he squeezed the other, suddenly looking older, tired. "Why would I marry you if I didn't love you?"

This only made the brunet frown very deeply, "To forget Sora." and he couldn't stop the words, take them back..

Cloud allowed his arms to go limp and he stepped away from Squall, a mixture of hurt and anger in his eyes. Lightening cracked and thunder boomed and the rain just seemed to come down harder, pattering on the roof like small, weak bullets.

"Did Dr. Gainsborough really tell you to stop visiting, or did you just stop it on your own?" Squall walked over to one of the couches in the living room and sat down, the same place Cloud and Squall had sat the first time they kissed each other. "Why are you trying to forget him? Why?" the brunet's voice was almost pleading and it surprised Cloud.

"I'm not! I'm not trying to forget him, I.." he looked away, "why do you care, Squall Leonhart? I'm only trying to forget him for you!"

Squall stood, angry, growling, a deep glare in his eyes, but the rest of his face expressionless. "For me? You still love him, you always will! You will _never_ forget about him, Cloud. You loved him first, you said yourself you gave up everything! And don't you tell me you're forgetting Sora because of me! You're trying to forget him because he hurt _you_ emotionally, Cloud."

The blond felt his cheeks heat and he was breathing quickly, trying to keep his face emotionless, but his eyes were giving away his pain.

"You want to forgive Sora, you want to love him again. You want him to leave the mental institute and come back to you! But you can't! You're just conflicting with yourself, Cloud. You love Sora, you want him to love you, but you also hate him. Hate him for ruining what could've all been taken for your own!" Squall felt the rage inside his body grow and he couldn't stop himself from berating his own husband, "believe what you want, but he was at true fault for the death of your father and the imprisonment of your step father."

The brunet turned and walked to the foyer, grabbing his leather jacket from the hall closet and slinging it about his shoulders. Cloud didn't ask where he was going, didn't tell him to take an umbrella, instead he slid down to the floor, dumbfounded and heartbroken. Squall read him like an open book and yet... he didn't even know what his husband was thinking half the time.

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**Author's note:** I was going to write more since this chapter is only seven pages... but, I need to save some stuff for the next chapter. Next chapter either might add confusion or reveal more of what's going on. Until then, read this, review, and then go read my other stuff.

**Edit:** for some reason, has stopped the lines that usually seperate the pieces in my story. Know what I have to say to that? Butt sex me. Now.


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